Good night

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It is a weird feeling sleeping over by yourself at a friends house now. It is in many ways more alone than sleeping over at a hotel. I have spent the weekend at my good friends Anders house for some barbeque and gaming.

Now when the laughter has become quiet and the good fun is over for this time and we all crawl into our respective bunks.. the distilled, and these days rare, sense of being alone creeps up on you.

Missing.

It’s odd that this once was the norm. That once I was not married with my lovely wife and once my beloved son was not yet born.

I shake my head. I don’t understand how I made it. Luckily for me I litteraly did not know what i was missing.

Just this small taste of quiet and lonely drags my thoughts out to the neverending ocean of space upon which we all will set sail when we bite the dust. Pretty melodramatic.. But I like to remind myself now and then that we all will die alone.

Brutal.

I can not wait to go home tomorrow and hug my son and my wife.

How many men under significantly more dire circumstances must have felt this and much worse.

Good night :)